I've been having a regular conversation with various mom support groups online lately about the struggle of sending your kiddos off for surgery. How do you prepare both mentally and logistically? Having gone through this experience a few times, I figured I would lend what I could for knowledge!
First of all, you as mom or dad might not feel like a part of the equation that needs to be considered! Through so many things in life as parents, we see ourselves as last on the list. This couldn't be further from the truth! Whether your child is going in for a simple or a complicated surgery, they're going to need you more now than they ever had before. If you feel like you're falling apart on the inside in the days before surgery, be sure to take time for yourselves and refocus and reframe this upcoming experience in a different light. It's ok to lose your marbles or get a wee bit emotional, this is all a part of the process when seeing your child through a vulnerable period. But in finding your feet again, you'll be at your strongest for them. Consider on the day of surgery bringing a supportive friend along with you who is willing to keep your spirits up and occupy your brain.
First of all, you as mom or dad might not feel like a part of the equation that needs to be considered! Through so many things in life as parents, we see ourselves as last on the list. This couldn't be further from the truth! Whether your child is going in for a simple or a complicated surgery, they're going to need you more now than they ever had before. If you feel like you're falling apart on the inside in the days before surgery, be sure to take time for yourselves and refocus and reframe this upcoming experience in a different light. It's ok to lose your marbles or get a wee bit emotional, this is all a part of the process when seeing your child through a vulnerable period. But in finding your feet again, you'll be at your strongest for them. Consider on the day of surgery bringing a supportive friend along with you who is willing to keep your spirits up and occupy your brain.
Most hospitals will allow you to tour the recovery unit before the big day. Unless your child is in an isolation ward, you'll be able to get the lay of the land and as well see what the unit has to offer you, the parent. Where we go at Alberta Children's Hospital they have private rooms for patients with a single bed for parents to stay overnight. (The bed has storage drawers underneath.) There's a full tub and shower in the bathroom as well. There's a parent room with internet access as well as free wifi. The parent room also has a fridge where you can store groceries and a microwave so you don't have to over spend eating out during your stay. Chances are very good that you won't have to bring your own diapers or formula as well as these are often taken care of by the hospital.
Time Off Is Expensive....
If time off of work is a struggle, there are options in order to help alleviate some of the burden. As one of the unit nurses when you've checked in if there's a social worker you can speak with about whether your hospital can supply you with a parking pass. Often there's the possibility of a cafeteria meal card as well.
When it comes to food, it's you opportunity to get creative if you choose to bring your own! There's your basic toast and jam options, but if you have access to a fridge and microwave there are a lot of pre-cooked ideas you can use. Here's one breakfast option I've done frequently in the past.
Time Off Is Expensive....
If time off of work is a struggle, there are options in order to help alleviate some of the burden. As one of the unit nurses when you've checked in if there's a social worker you can speak with about whether your hospital can supply you with a parking pass. Often there's the possibility of a cafeteria meal card as well.
When it comes to food, it's you opportunity to get creative if you choose to bring your own! There's your basic toast and jam options, but if you have access to a fridge and microwave there are a lot of pre-cooked ideas you can use. Here's one breakfast option I've done frequently in the past.
I myself have also packed with me a couple of large-ish Tupperware containers. I boiled tortellini and a few vegetables in the hospital microwave. Tossed in some pre-cooked chicken and a little tomato sauce from a glass jar and that was dinner! It's not a glamorous meal being eaten from Tupperware but it's tasty!
The Big Day
Overall for the actual day itself, involve your child in what they wish to bring along that would help make the day more comfortable whether it's a favorite blanket or a stuffed toy. Chances are you'll be doing some sitting around and waiting before being brought to the operating room so a portable dvd player or a tablet loaded with movies is an absolute godsend! These comforts can be brought along with you to the room when you're checked into the hospital.
Keep your language simple with your child in describing what's going on. "the doctors are going to fix ..."
When it comes to how you're doing that day, the option is often presented for you to walk with your child to the operating room. Now it's a personal choice for sure, but I will share my choice and my reasons for that. I let a nurse take my son in because if there's a visual I don't need in my own head as a parent, is leaving him there. Times like this can make you feel vulnerable, and I want to remain as strong as I can for when he comes back to the recovery room. Bring a book or a friend or a movie for yourself as well!
Best of luck on the big day, your child is in the best of hands!
Overall for the actual day itself, involve your child in what they wish to bring along that would help make the day more comfortable whether it's a favorite blanket or a stuffed toy. Chances are you'll be doing some sitting around and waiting before being brought to the operating room so a portable dvd player or a tablet loaded with movies is an absolute godsend! These comforts can be brought along with you to the room when you're checked into the hospital.
Keep your language simple with your child in describing what's going on. "the doctors are going to fix ..."
When it comes to how you're doing that day, the option is often presented for you to walk with your child to the operating room. Now it's a personal choice for sure, but I will share my choice and my reasons for that. I let a nurse take my son in because if there's a visual I don't need in my own head as a parent, is leaving him there. Times like this can make you feel vulnerable, and I want to remain as strong as I can for when he comes back to the recovery room. Bring a book or a friend or a movie for yourself as well!
Best of luck on the big day, your child is in the best of hands!